I was watching a youth worker the other day trying to communicate with his kids in an outdoor activity. His voice was high and shrill, he was clearly frustrated. His kids responded in kind. I felt sorry for him. He didn't know how to use his voice. If you were to criticize his voice he would probably respond by saying "That's my voice and that's the way it is ... " Wrong! I got to thinking about speaking.

Most of us feel that having to speak publicly is a fate worse than death. Many have spoken publicly and found this to be true. When I was younger I agonized over having to give an "oral report." It's one thing to look like a nerd but quite another to stand up in front of the class and prove it for five minutes. Now some call me a speaker, at least I do a lot of public speaking. Somehow, somewhere I made a change.

Here are some things to think about when learning to speak.

Public speaking does not come naturally, you have to develop the skill. It's a very different ballgame than conversational speaking. In conversation you speak WITH people. In public speaking you speak TO people and that makes quite a difference.

FEAR: The greatest hindrance to public speaking is fear. I'm convinced that most of us could be adequate if not good public speakers were it not for fear. Most of us do great in conversational communication. Fear is the dragon that destroys confidence! The big question how does one eliminate fear? Some suggestions follow.

Gain experience. Experience overcomes fear and builds confidence. Start off by speaking to groups of little kids and work your way up. Start simple. Public announcements, etc.

Have a reason to speak. Have something you want to communicate. Speak something that comes from inside you.

Know your subject! Know more about your subject than your audience. To know your subject builds confidence. (Example) Giving your testimony.)

Visualize your audience as people just like you. Visualize your audience as people who wouldn't be caught dead standing up speaking like you are doing.

Remember that all you have to do is be yourself. People find honesty refreshing and respond in honesty.

VOCABULARY: Being a good communicator is essential to being a good leader. Learn vocabulary and develop speaking skills as soon as you can. Constantly enlarge your vocabulary.

YOUR VOICE: The most expensive and sophisticated instrument you will ever own is your own voice. Learn how to use it and use it well! Learning how to play your voice instrument will take years of practice. Get started now. All of us that have a voice use it to some extent but very few of us excel at mastering our true vocal potential. Some thoughts on the use of our voice.

Project your voice. Learn the art of speaking to your listener wherever he is. There is a lot of difference in speaking to or conversing with to someone standing in front of you and speaking to a few people twenty feet away or speaking to a group of people fifty feet away. Projecting your voice is not natural, it is a skill that has to be learned. It isn't hard! Speak loud when you have to and speak softly when you have to. Learn to control that voice.

Drive your voice down! Practice driving your voice down. A high voice indicates immaturity, or fear. A low voice projects authority, maturity and confidence. It may take a while but drive your voice down. (Note: When you are fearful your voice climbs and people subconsciously react negatively to this.)

Don't mumble! Strive to enunciate your words. Speak clearly.

YOUR EYES: Your eyes are very important and the most revealing and honest part of your body. Even from a distance your audience will look at your eyes. When you are able to look your audience in their eyes you know you have conquered fear. Look at your audience like you would look at someone you are talking with.

YOUR MESSAGE: What you say is as important as how you say it, both are essential to good communication. To think ahead as to how you plan to communicate your message or lesson is smart. This is called preparation. The best message or lesson you will give must come from within you. A message that comes from the head will reach the head ... a message that comes from the heart will reach the heart! Notes are good if kept simple ... used as little nails to hang your message on. A memorized message will always sound memorized.

SPEECH CLASS? The traditional high school speech class does about as much damage as it does good. In the first place most speech teachers are not good speakers. Second, the bottom line of most classes is reinforced fear the very thing that destroys the would be speaker. Traditional speech classes form into a one speaker and twenty critic ratio. Bad ratio. Unnatural ratio. Most audiences aren't critics. Better to have a room full of listeners that will tell the struggling speaker what he is doing right. In my opinion its better to learn by studying good speakers and imitating their ways ... taking a small class of young children and learning to teach them. If you are a good children's speaker you can teach adults.