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HOME » ABOUT PASTOR VON » STUFF FROM MY NOTEBOOK » PAGE 02 REAL 'BLOOPERS' FROM ACTUAL CHURCH BULLETINS This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday, at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed", accompanied by the Pastor. Thursday, at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the pastor in his study. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. The service will colse with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will joing in. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. A bean super will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow. The rosebud on the altar this moring is to announce the birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belser. "A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday" "The Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done." "The pastor would appreciate if the ladies would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning." "HYMN 43: Great God What Do I See Here?, PREACHER: The Rev. Horace Blodgett, HYMN 47: Hark! An Awful Voice Is Sounding!" "Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.' "The concert held in the Fellowship hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter who labored through the whole evening on the piano, which as usual, fell on her." "Stewardship Offeratory: Jesus Paid it All" "During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.' "Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, 'The Lord Knows Why' " "Ushers will eat latecomers" "The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.' "The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, ' Break forth into joy ' ". "The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience." "The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir." "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement noon friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy." "Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door." 40 SUFFERING SOLDIERS The persecution of the Christians during the reign of Marcus Aurelius was very bitter. The emperor himself decreed the punishment of forty of the men who had refused to bow down to his image. "Strip to the skin," he commanded. They did so. "Now go and stand on that frozen lake," he commanded, "until you are prepared to abandon your Nazarene-God!" And forty naked men marched out into that howling storm on a winter's night. As they took their places on the ice they lifted up their voices and sang: "Christ, forty wrestlers have come out to wrestle for Thee; to win for Thee the victory; to win from Thee the crown." After a while, those standing by and watching noticed a disturbance among the men. One man had edged away, broken into a run, entered the temple and prostrated himself before the image of the Emperor. The Captain of the Guard, who had witnessed the bravery of the men and whose heart had been touched by their teaching, tore off his helmet, threw down his spear, and disrobing himself, took up the cry as he took the place of the man who had weakened. The compensation was not slow in coming, for as the dawn broke there were forty corpses on the ice.

HOME » ABOUT PASTOR VON » STUFF FROM MY NOTEBOOK » PAGE 02

REAL 'BLOOPERS' FROM ACTUAL CHURCH BULLETINS

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday, at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed", accompanied by the Pastor.
Thursday, at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will colse with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will joing in.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
A bean super will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
The rosebud on the altar this moring is to announce the birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belser.
"A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday"
"The Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done."
"The pastor would appreciate if the ladies would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning."
"HYMN 43: Great God What Do I See Here?, PREACHER: The Rev. Horace Blodgett, HYMN 47: Hark! An Awful Voice Is Sounding!"
"Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.'
"The concert held in the Fellowship hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter who labored through the whole evening on the piano, which as usual, fell on her."
"Stewardship Offeratory: Jesus Paid it All"
"During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.'
"Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, 'The Lord Knows Why' "
"Ushers will eat latecomers"
"The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.'
"The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, ' Break forth into joy ' ".
"The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience."
"The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."
"The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement noon friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."
"Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use the back door."

40 SUFFERING SOLDIERS

The persecution of the Christians during the reign of Marcus Aurelius was very bitter. The emperor himself decreed the punishment of forty of the men who had refused to bow down to his image. "Strip to the skin," he commanded. They did so. "Now go and stand on that frozen lake," he commanded, "until you are prepared to abandon your Nazarene-God!" And forty naked men marched out into that howling storm on a winter's night. As they took their places on the ice they lifted up their voices and sang:

"Christ, forty wrestlers have come out to wrestle for Thee; to win for Thee the victory; to win from Thee the crown." After a while, those standing by and watching noticed a disturbance among the men. One man had edged away, broken into a run, entered the temple and prostrated himself before the image of the Emperor. The Captain of the Guard, who had witnessed the bravery of the men and whose heart had been touched by their teaching, tore off his helmet, threw down his spear, and disrobing himself, took up the cry as he took the place of the man who had weakened. The compensation was not slow in coming, for as the dawn broke there were forty corpses on the ice.